Verified by Psychology Today. The Journey Ahead. In the early s, Memorex Corp.
My right to death with dignity at 29
The next scene in the ad showed another wine glass shattering when a recording of Ms. Fitzgerald's voice was played. The thrust of the ad was that the clarity of Memorex recording tapes was so good that Ms. Fitzgerald's voice could shatter the glass whether her voice was live or was from the playback of a recording. From the glass's perspective, both the live voice and the recorded voice were indistinguishable. A common, but often overlooked, aspect of mourning the death of a loved one is similar to the Memorex ad—the spontaneous, externally generated contact of the mourner by the deceased loved one or a divine being.
Are the contacts real, or are they hallucinations? For those who have not had the experience, these contacts are, at best, the result of an overactive imagination or, at worst, hallucinations. However, for approximately 70 million mourners who have had them, these contacts—or Extraordinary Experiences EEs —are real and comforting. Louis LaGrand , who has studied Extraordinary Experiences for over 25 years, has cataloged them into 14 categories:.
Of these different categories, the two most common ones are the feeling of presence and visitation dreams. Whether they come once or repeatedly, there are various kinds of messages that EEs provide mourners.
Most messages are supportive letting the mourner know that the loved one lives on and that s he knows how they are suffering. The impact of these messages can be enormous and life-changing. The two most frequent themes that mourners report after having had an EE are that they are no longer afraid of death and that they will be reunited with their loved one.
Armed with these insights, many mourners can now begin to make meaning out of their experience of the death of their loved one, to learn how to live in the world again, and to re-integrate their loved one into a new, special, ongoing place in their hearts. In short, mourners learn to love while separated from their loved one. Not every mourner has an EE, and there is no way to explain why some do and some don't. Both believers in EEs and previous skeptics have received them while other believers and skeptics haven't.
Who has an EE is just as much of the mystery of the phenomenon as is the EE itself. However, that doesn't mean a mourner who hasn't received an EE can't ask for one as long as s he realizes they may not receive one. So, from the viewpoint of the mourner experiencing an EE, the question "Is it real, or is it hallucination? Just like with the wine glass in the Memorex ad, it makes no difference—it's the same result!
Assuming the mourner is not severely agitated or suffering from deep emotional trauma at the time of the event, the real issue is what impact EEs have. For nearly all mourners, they are comforting, authentic, and life-enriching. If you have had an EE or know of someone who has, I'd be interested and I'm sure others would be, too in what it was and how it impacted your life.
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In his classic, The Varieties of Religious Experience, William James finds "visions and voices" tend to be of relatively low "fruitfulness for life. The type of religious experience he found most apt to be constructively life changing is "monistic and optimistic.
People also very often experience levels of this type of experience spontaneously through contact with nature. James' book gives many concrete accounts of such transformative experiences and was required reading at the U of Chicago Divinity School, where I got my master's. Written in the early twentieth century - an oldie but a goody. I saw myself in the middle of the night when I woke up by the doorway.
I wonder what that was all about. I wasn't sure if this was actually a visitation dream, but it felt soo real. It was one of those dreams where you were happy to be with that person and you didn't want that moment to end. It started out as I was looking at my bed in my room, which was for some reason Heath Ledger's death bed, and I saw him laying there, lifeless.
I had someone else in the room with me, but I couldn't remember who. I remember crying and realizing that he was dead, but then I look over and I see him stirring as if he came back to life or something. I say something like, "What the heck? I thought you were dead? What were you doing all this time" I'm not sure why I chose the words of "What you were doing all this time but I said it. Then he replies with something like "I was just trying to get some sleep. After that, we turned out to be in some place which was kind of familiar, but i couldn't make it out.
Next thing I know he is laying down and I was sitting next to him looking down at him and he just smiled and looked at me ever so peacefully and it was the best feeling ever, and it seemed like we were looking each other for a long time, but we weren't exchanging any words. There was most of my dream, that had Heath Ledger in it and I was wondering if you would think if this could be real or not. By the way, I have never met Heath Ledger, and I was really emotional about him dying and everything that night before I went to bed, and had the dream, even though it was months after he had died.
A year after my mother died very suddenly I became pregnant with my first child. I had a dream when I was six weeks pregnant the only dream I ever had with my mother in it where my mother was looking at me from across this space. We could not touch and it appeared as if we weren't even "allowed" to be communicating. She said to me very clearly and distinctly "You are having a little girl and her name is Ava. I woke up and knew if my baby was a girl that I would name her this.
My mother didn't tell me to name her that.
She told me her name WAS that. As if they had met. Well, I did have a girl and her name is, of course, Ava. I was 15 years old when my much-loved father died of a hereditary kidney disease, at home. A day or two after he passed before his burial I crept into my mother's now-lonely bedroom, where she was napping. Dad was standing near her, with one elbow resting on a chest of drawers that still contained his clothes.
He was an athlete, and his lean into the furniture was graceful and athletic, as he had always been. He looked just fine, not all still and dead as he had been when the funeral people took him away a day or two before. I distinctly recall the "Ban-Lon" shirt he wore - a kind of machine knitted tee shirt. And I think his usual khaki weekend trousers. I started to rush toward him, wanting one last hug. He held up his hands as if to say, :You musn't touch me. We didn't talk, really, It was more telepathic.
I wanted to wake Mother, as she had been devastated by his death, but he did not want me to wake her. He was very firm about that. When I eventually woke her I had to tell her the wonderful news - Dad had visited, sent his love, and he is fine! I had felt loved and comforted.
Mother felt only rage at my apparent lie. She took to drinking herself into a stupor every night thereafter for decades. Dear Isolda, I am so sorry that your mother reacted that way. Sometimes people just have personalities like that. I believe you. Please do not blame yourself for your mother drinking. It is her fault for her reaction to you just after you had lost your father. And it is her fault that she drank herself into a stupor, as you have disclosed.
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Totally her own fault. Not yours. I believe you saw your father. Take great care of yourself. I know this was written a while ago, but my mother just shared something with me about hearing her father who died several years ago and I was googling the phenomena and came across this. A couple of days ago driving out of the driving she heard him say "Get your tire pressure checked. When asked if they light was on, she said no but that she hadn't gotten them checked for a while and she had a hunch.
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So all of her tires were in fact low I'm not sure if it was dangerously so, but I would hope that these are messages from the beyond, but I know that I am choosing to think so and that they may just be hallucinations. A very dear friend of ours recently passed. The night before last, I had asked our friend if he would give me a sign so I knew he was okay I was specific, that I wanted to see him in a dream or hear him. I asked him if he was OK and finally at peace. Then I went back inside and did not dwell on it.
Last night, my husband and I were quietly watching tv. It was right next to me. My husband got up and went to the front door and checked the yard. Bear in mind, we live in the country, it is very quiet and our yard is very large with tall security fencing and a gate surrounding it.